I had an email from a lady, let's call her Penny for the sake of anonymity, who wanted to know

"I read a book to motivate myself to quit smoking...how do I get motivated, really motivated to stop eating"

The thing is, eating is even more addictive than smoking. We are biologically programmed to eat. It's definitely NOT the same as smoking. If we don't eat we die. If you don't smoke, you live longer! We can't just not buy food or stay away from other eaters. Or chew a food substitute.

And unfortunately for the state of our waistlines, it seems we are also programmed to eat as much food as we can when food is plenty so that we are able to cope with lean times ahead.

Now the trouble is that these days there are no leaner times to use up our fat stores so some of us (well a whole lot of us actually) just eat and eat to the point of obesity

Those of us who want to be slim, simply have to learn to regulate ourselves, like it or not. We have to learn to read our body's signals. To know when we are physically hungry and when we have had enough. We have to eat slowly and pay attention to our bodies.

And once you are aware that you have eaten enough you have to stop eating before you feel stuffed. And not start again until you are physically hungry.

There are a few strategies you can use to let your body (and mind) know it's time to stop eating :-

• Like smoking, eating too much (or eating when you're not physically hungry) can be a kind of habit so if you stop yourself snacking or eating too much at each meal (using sheer willpower in the beginning) eventually you will be quite used to that and stop naturally.
• If you like chocolate (like me) you may allow yourself a square with coffee at the end of your meal to signify that you have finished eating. You won't mind stopping so much, because chocolate is coming :)
• Some people find it useful to brush their teeth when eating is over. This may be a helpful strategy for Penny who used to use a cigarette to signal the end of a meal.
• You could also use clearing the kitchen of all dishes and leftovers, rinsing out the sink and putting out the kitchen lights.

Penny is also asking how she can be motivated to WANT to stop eating.

For that you need to understand what you want to achieve by losing weight and keep reminding yourself how much you want to achieve it - every time you reach for food you don't need.

If you don't want to lose weight enough then the compulsion to eat will be too great. So reinforce your reasons by going through them (in your head or on paper) whenever you can.

Plus, if you want more help with motivation and strategies to follow you can get my FREE 7 part weight loss motivation course here

When you say you had a good meal what do you mean?

A good meal could be one which gave you enormous pleasure. It could be that it was absolutely delicious. You enjoyed every mouthful and felt quite satisfied after eating it.

Maybe it included some of your favorite foods - just like your mom used to make. True comfort food.

Maybe it was pure indulgence with food you love but which you don't normally allow yourself to eat on your diet.

Maybe you pushed the boat out a bit and ate in a top restaurant and are still remembering the whole experience of dining like royalty.

But there's another definition of a good meal I would like you to think about. It's one where you don't say "That was delicious" and then regret the calories when you get on the scales the next day.

A truly good meal is delicious but it also nourishes your body and provides a good balance of protein, carbohydrate, healthy fats, vitamins and minerals without going over the top on calories. It's one which has a healthy balance between tasting fantastic and making you feel fantastic too.

You may think that such foods don't exist - that a good meal isn't a good meal without a multitude of calories and a sticky dessert but I'd have to say you just haven't found the right recipes yet.

Make it your mission this year to find one new delicious healthy recipe every month (or every week if you can manage it). Find a healthy recipe that you would look forward to eating, try it out and make sure you love it then add it to your usual list of potential meals. As time goes on and you have collected a few recipes, you will be able to have a good meal whenever you like without wrecking you diet - you'll have your own treasure trove of personal favorites.  

To find recipes take a look at the cookbooks you have at home, search for "low-calorie recipes" or "low-fat recipes" online or check out some specialist magazines from your local book store.

I had a reader ask me a question recently about losing weight caused by hormonal imbalance. She was looking for help to find websites which deal with natural remedies which would make the process of losing weight easier.

In these situations I always try and find the true cause of excess weight and I answered her with a few questions to try and get to the heart of the matter. I add my response here in case it helps anyone else. As usual I try and tell it like it is - I won't tell you there's an easy solution when there isn't.

"Mmmmh... Why do you think you have a hormonal imbalance? Has a doctor diagnosed that? If so, your doctor is the best person to give you the answers! Or visit a natural therapist locally who can can look at your case on an individual basis - they treat the whole person not just the symptoms - so there's no single solution to an imbalance but there are many answers to suit different individuals.

I hosted the monthly book club I belong to at my house yesterday evening.

With me (and probably you too) there's a big danger of overeating before, during and after a party with so many snacks, wine and leftover food around!

But don't panic, there are some things you can do to help prevent yourself consuming too many excess calories when you have a party.

• Don't drink too much - lots of empty calories in alcohol - stick to one glass of wine
• if it's a buffet, stay as far away from the food as you can after you serve it
• Keep busy serving others with drinks, plates, napkins etc
• Get rid of the leftovers straight away after the event
• Walk off any calorie damage the next day

What happened with me yesterday?

I ate a bit more than I usually would of course (I don't normally eat anything all evening after dinner) but not so much that I regret it today.

Any leftovers I can't rely on my boys to "hoover" up quickly are safely in the trash.

And I went for a 40 minute walk this morning ...

Update on my January walking plans

Walk accomplished today (see above). Still waiting for my pedometer to arrive to start my proper step program - hopefully it will arrive today.

Yesterday, I didn't get out at all - preparing for my visitors was my excuse but with minus 10 degrees C temperatures in parts of the UK yesterday I just didn't want to go out. If the Norwegians don't think there's such a thing as bad weather only bad clothes (see previous walking post) then all I can say is that they have warmer clothes than me :) Coward that I am, I stayed indoors. Anyway, "never say die" - instead of walking, I stepped for 45 minutes in front of the TV which made up for my missing walk.

As a weight loss coach I have to admit that I'm far from perfect. I have no magic wand.

(Unfortunately there is no such thing as a magic wand for weight loss - and no magic, pill, patch or potion either which will make you lose weight)

I have to work on my motivation and habits just as much as anyone else to stay in shape.

So when I catch myself in  bad habit I like to let you know!

But anyway I was just getting myself a cup of coffee the other day and caught myself thinking "Now, what can I have to eat with that?"

Not much wrong with that you might say, but I was about to reach for a chocolate chip cookie and you know how one leads to another...

The thing is, I really wasn't hungry at all - hadn't thought about food one bit until I got the coffee. Having something to eat with coffee had slowly but surely become a habit!

So now I am re-training myself to ask "Do I really need to eat anything with that?" and if I think I do need something to eat I wait until after I have had the coffee. The urge to eat has often gone by then and I forget all about it.

Also for some reason it's easier to eat something healthy if it's not actually with the coffee. Carrot sticks and coffee just don't go together!

Walking Update: January walking plans are going well but not without hassles. My new pedometer order has been a bit of a fiasco. Serves me right for ordering from a slightly cheaper supplier instead of good old Amazon who have never let me down. Anyway I received an Omron pedometer instead of the one I ordered and so I sent it back - still waiting for the one I ordered....

Anyway I will get there in the end no doubt. Meanwhile I'm just walking every day without the pedometer. I WOULD like to know how well I am doing increasing my steps but I will just have to wait....